I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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