i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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