I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
home. puking in laundry basket.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
