another moral hangover. fuck.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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