Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize