Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
