fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
