In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
