I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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