Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
