i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
