Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
