and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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