Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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