is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
