nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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