This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
