Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize