Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
