He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
