Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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