people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
