I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
