Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
