The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
