I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
