He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
