And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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