Betty ford says i'm here all night
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
