I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
