Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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