with your own penis?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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