You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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