Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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