just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize