is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
