it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
