Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
