We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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