I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
