The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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