you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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