At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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