This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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