I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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