At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
