If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize