he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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