Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
