so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
