I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just high enough for therapy.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
