I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
