we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize