i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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