i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
