I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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