how can u be prego again
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
