The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
