This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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