Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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