Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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