I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Found the puke drawer
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
